We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You pole danced in your parka.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
