someone threw a dead crab at me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
