He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
