I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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