dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
