in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize