I'm jealous of your bromance
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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