i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize