My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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