I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
