I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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