We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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