Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize