i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
