I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
