its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
