Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
