But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i dont even know how to be here
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
