Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
