I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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