She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
