Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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