All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
