yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
