this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
