sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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