dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
