I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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