no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
