does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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