when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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