I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
