I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
