and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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