So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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