Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
