My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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