My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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