god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You took a bar mat shot.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
