Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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