I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
