She's JV to your varsity
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
