she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
