The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
