Sponge bath it is.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
