She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
