literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
