you traded sex for a burrito?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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