Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I would ride that face into the sunset
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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