You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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