There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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