Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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