Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
