the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
