we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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