Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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