why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
