Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
