dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
