just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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