hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
