well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
