If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
